Today I went to church. Didn't go last week because of it being David's last day home. So many people asking me when I was moving to Kentucky and if David was still home. Of course I broke down in tears everytime. I do decent keeping the tears in till I walk through that church. It's like someone breaking down the walls of my dam. No matter how hard I try it still happens. I was told before while David was in training that it was because the church is a place of healing. It seems though when I cry I feel worse. I feel like I'm not what I need to be in order to wear the title Army wife. I mean he's going through way harder stuff than I am yet I don't hear about him crying. He always tells me he's proud of me for all I have done but I feel like a fraud. I've done nothing compared to the stuff he's been through and will go through. I don't just feel he deserves someone stronger than me.
So I have mentioned before that I have 3 girls. I have a 4 1/2 year old. A 3 year old and a 10 month old. All girls. Well my middle girl Savannah has started worrying me awful bad. She runs up and hugs everyone especially guys. We were walking down the street to the store one day when some gentlemen was walking the opposite was of us and she runs up to him and hugs him. I'm worried not only for her safety but I'm worried she's looking for a male relationship. She's my little tom boy. She likes to get down in the dirt and wrestle. And boy can that girl throw a wallup. I don't know how to make this easier on her. It scares me that this is going to mess her up emotionally. I haven't told David cause I know this would completely break his heart. Esepcially after the week that had together when he came home. She wouldn't let him out of her sight and always wanted him to hold her hand or pick her up. If she's taking the 4 months so hard how is she going to take him being gone a year for deployment.
My older daughter as I have mentioned is starting her first year of school. Not sure if I'm ready for that yet. I hate that David's going to miss her first year. Along with our first anniversary and possibly our second one as well. Then there's christmas... That has got to be my favorite holiday. The christmas carols, the family dinner, seeing the faces of my girls in the morning, the church christmas program, watching all the kids around the neighborhood playing in the snow, christmas cartoons and movies. And the wrapping of presents. I loved sitting on the floor wrapping paper, tape, sissors and toys scattered all around us. Talking about how the girls will react when they open their presents the next day. This year I do that by myself. Definetly not looking forward to it.
Misty, my dear, David needs someone who respects what he is doing. You do that very well. I am taking a "Love & Respect" Bible Study. It uses scripture to show that a woman needs love, but a man needs respect. Your love and compassion make you the perfect Army wife, so don't worry. Is there a "safe" significant male in your family that Savannah can spend time with? Also, through your church there might be an elderly gentleman who would enjoy all of Savannah's attention. Missing important family events is the pits. I've had to deal with that for over 20 years. My only sibling has lived in Belgium for 25 years. Does David have his own computer? If he does then you can Skype while he is in Afghanistan. It is free. You just have to have a web-cam. Maybe getting that for him before he leaves can be your anniversary,Christmas and any other present for each other for the next year. I know it is important that he get it before he leaves. Shipping it can get it damaged. Just an idea.
ReplyDeleteLatest from Leila and Roby--even though they started a refinance of their house in January (and were told to pay the new amt. starting in Feb), the bank has decided that Roby makes too much money in the Army, and they are trying to get $11,000 in back house payments or foreclose on them. Roby feels like joining the Army cost him his home. Isn't that terrible? Leila is trying to go through JAG to see what her options are. All you ladies are making enormous sacrifices, and I want you to know that I am not only thankful, but very proud of all of you!
Love,
Mama Shay
I'm not sure about elderly gentlemen in the church that's only place she doesn't hug everyone even though I'd be just fine with that. Lol that's probably why she doesn't do it. He will have his own computer we are taking my old one and deleting the hard drive. We planned to get webcams before he left. We had talked about it while he was in training. Like I said we knew it would come so we had been planning for it just didn't realize how fast it would be. But that's the army right lol. I really hope things work out for Roby and Leila. that has to be awful to be going through. David had told me a little bit about it and It was just shocking news to me. Keep me updated on it please. I'll be praying for them.
ReplyDeleteLove you mama shay! <3